while with his gun the pagan angel rose to say

you are a runner and i am my father's son

November 21st, 2009

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I'm trying to remember who among the lasses and lads of my flist are in Great Britain or Ireland. Just, if you're one of them, I hope you're okay. Please let me know if you're in the area, and if you're safe tonight.

*frets*

In The Rhythm Of Loving You

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Title: In The Rhythm Of Loving You
By: Bridget McKennitt
Pairing: RPS - Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1297
Challenge: [info]supernatural100's prompt spring
Contains: No warnings in as far I know that can't be extrapolated from the header itself. Cheerleader!Jensen, Geek!Jared
Disclaimer: Any real person, location, or organization mentioned in the story below own themselves. This is only a fictional story meant for entertainment and not intended for profit or believing the real people mentioned are like this in real life.
Author's Notes: Set a few days after Jared proposes to Jensen. Part of the Moving At Lightspeed Into Eternity verse. Masterpost with chronological order here.

In The Rhythm Of Loving You

And Don't Forget to Breathe

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I was putting together what new material I have for Appetite and I was really pretty shocked at how little it comes out to be, when assembled. Part of the reason for this is that there are two scenes that I've spent a lot of words on, but it was all writing and rewriting them, trying to find the "right" take for them. So there's verbiage, but most of it is garbage. Or…if not garbage, than discards and it's a real struggle for me to be Zen about this and say that it will come when it comes and accept that with equanimity. There are some stories I can bull my way through. I used to be better at bulling my way through a stubborn story. But now it's a talent that seems to have deserted me and, as usual, I'm not sure how to recover it.

On the other hand, I feel like AKB is going like gangbusters. Which is awesome and I am thankful for that, but, at the same time, it's hard not to feel like my success with AKB and that all my excitement and creativity going toward it is detracting from my other goals. And while a part of me doesn't want it to end, the glimmering of the end on the horizon is also a relief. Of course, it also brings up a certain morbid curiosity about what, exactly, will take its place as the object of my obsession. And, of course, the fear that nothing will.

In my current spate of 'trashy' reading, I'm reading LKH's Skin Trade and I realized a big part of the many, many things that bother me about the Anita Blake books (and their [de]evolution over time) is the distinct lack of femaleness.

A little more about that. Not specifically spoilery. )

Another thing that I really want to write about, but haven't quite figured out how to talk about it without potentially offending people, is [info] mini_nanowrimo. On the one hand, I understand that it, like anything writing related, is a tool and what people get out of it and how they use it and what it means to them is entirely individual. I can't dispute that. I can't argue with that.

But, at the same time, I confess to a certain (un-modly, personal) frustration when people either miss a day of writing or miss a day of posting and decide to pack it up and give up on the challenge entirely. I mean…I get the disappointment of not meeting the goals that you've set for yourself. Boy howdy, do I get that! And I do understand the impulse that, if you cannot be perfect, you'd rather be nothing at all.

But I also feel like it's a childish impulse, in its way. The older I get (and the theoretically wiser) the more I think less and care less about perfection and care and think more about perseverance.

The way we do one thing is the way we do everything. In this life, we make mistakes, we fail. We fail in so many ways. Some failure is inevitable. And, generally speaking, we don't have the option of packing it in, taking our ball and going home. Generally, we have to stick it out, strap it on and clean up our messes. And I find a certain grace in that. Much more grace, in some ways, than the people who do manage some level of perfection, because it takes guts to faceplant and then get up again and move on. I feel like we spend so much time trying to self-talk ourselves and everyone else into not making any mistakes, to being perfect and we spend none of that time teaching ourselves or each other how to recover from those inevitable failures. Or that a failure doesn't need to be the end of everything. And that a failure in one part doesn't equal complete catastrophe.

Some more thoughts on the matter. (The opinions within are those of poisontaster, and do not represent the comm as a whole or in part.) )

And Don't Forget to Breathe

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I was putting together what new material I have for Appetite and I was really pretty shocked at how little it comes out to be, when assembled. Part of the reason for this is that there are two scenes that I've spent a lot of words on, but it was all writing and rewriting them, trying to find the "right" take for them. So there's verbiage, but most of it is garbage. Or…if not garbage, than discards and it's a real struggle for me to be Zen about this and say that it will come when it comes and accept that with equanimity. There are some stories I can bull my way through. I used to be better at bulling my way through a stubborn story. But now it's a talent that seems to have deserted me and, as usual, I'm not sure how to recover it.

On the other hand, I feel like AKB is going like gangbusters. Which is awesome and I am thankful for that, but, at the same time, it's hard not to feel like my success with AKB and that all my excitement and creativity going toward it is detracting from my other goals. And while a part of me doesn't want it to end, the glimmering of the end on the horizon is also a relief. Of course, it also brings up a certain morbid curiosity about what, exactly, will take its place as the object of my obsession. And, of course, the fear that nothing will.

In my current spate of 'trashy' reading, I'm reading LKH's Skin Trade and I realized a big part of the many, many things that bother me about the Anita Blake books (and their [de]evolution over time) is the distinct lack of femaleness.

A little more about that. Not specifically spoilery. )

Another thing that I really want to write about, but haven't quite figured out how to talk about it without potentially offending people, is [info]mini_nanowrimo. On the one hand, I understand that it, like anything writing related, is a tool and what people get out of it and how they use it and what it means to them is entirely individual. I can't dispute that. I can't argue with that.

But, at the same time, I confess to a certain (un-modly, personal) frustration when people either miss a day of writing or miss a day of posting and decide to pack it up and give up on the challenge entirely. I mean…I get the disappointment of not meeting the goals that you've set for yourself. Boy howdy, do I get that! And I do understand the impulse that, if you cannot be perfect, you'd rather be nothing at all.

But I also feel like it's a childish impulse, in its way. The older I get (and the theoretically wiser) the more I think less and care less about perfection and care and think more about perseverance.

The way we do one thing is the way we do everything. In this life, we make mistakes, we fail. We fail in so many ways. Some failure is inevitable. And, generally speaking, we don't have the option of packing it in, taking our ball and going home. Generally, we have to stick it out, strap it on and clean up our messes. And I find a certain grace in that. Much more grace, in some ways, than the people who do manage some level of perfection, because it takes guts to faceplant and then get up again and move on. I feel like we spend so much time trying to self-talk ourselves and everyone else into not making any mistakes, to being perfect and we spend none of that time teaching ourselves or each other how to recover from those inevitable failures. Or that a failure doesn't need to be the end of everything. And that a failure in one part doesn't equal complete catastrophe.

Some more thoughts on the matter. (The opinions within are those of poisontaster, and do not represent the comm as a whole or in part.) )

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I made myself a cracky 5.08 icon (*points*) yesterday, typically made several variations, only to discover it's been over a year since I last made icons. 0.0 How did that happen?

Saturday: Blast From the Past

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Hi everyone, we hope you enjoy these recs!

J2

My Social Skills Would Fit Good in Prison
[info]chash JA/JP | R | AU
From what Jared understands, his college rooming situation is kind of like The Odd Couple, except for the way Jensen is a homophobic douchebag. A remix of [info]yourperiphery's "Domestic Bliss and Other Oxymorons."
College boys, clueless flirting, slutty Jensen and adorkable Jared all written inchash's amazing (and hilarious) style - what is there not to love about this fic?

The Shortest Distance
[info]estrella30 JA/JP | Adult
Remix of "From Point A to Point B" by [info]light_up.
A simple story of friendship that leads to more after a drunken night out - but the really interesting part is the unique style in which the story is told. A very cool read!

Sam/Dean

A Foreign Land
[info]oxoniensis Dean/Sam | NC-17 | First-time, pre-Stanford
It's a long hot summer: Sam doesn't recognize himself in the mirror.
This is an incredibly vivid story that almost pulsates with repressed emotion. It's so very reminiscent of being a teenager, when everything's changing and so very intense. This is a pre-series Sam/Dean that is so emotionally charged that it impacts on every event that happens later.

November 20th, 2009

[FIC] Batman - Batman/Joker - The Frayed Ends

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Spam! Wrote this not long after TDK came out but never posted it. Since the evil twin just wrote Joker/Scarecrow with similar elements, I knew I had to post it as the same time as hers or I'd never do it. Team Porn does Arkham. Arharhrh.


The Frayed Ends
Batman. Batman/Joker. R. ~1000 words. Nolanverse. Violence.
Darkness gathers into a swarm around them and Bruce doesn’t want to let the bastard take one more goddamn breath.



Read Me. )

Fic: The Looking Glass - Joker/Crane (1/1)

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I have so many shiny new obsessions. I'm going to die waiting for the 34227 comic book movies coming out over the next few years.

Yay for evil twins that make my Joker extra shiny and who writes Batman/Joker over here: The Frayed Ends. :D

The Looking Glass
Batman Begins. Joker/Crane. NC-17. ~2000 words. Breathplay.
Joker fit his fingers one by one to Jonathan's throat.


Read me. )

[ART] Steve & Tony Warmup Drawing

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Just a little something to get me in the groove for doing homework. Done without access to my usual brushes so there are several big things that make me go DDDD:, but I didn't want to spend more than an hour on this. Warmup means warmup, Pondy.

Avengers. Steve/Tony. G.



Steve & Tony Warmup Drawing )

Transgender Day of Remembrance

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Today is the 11th Annual Transgender Day of Remembrance, when we remember the hundreds of victims that transphobia claims every year around the world. Here is only a partial list.

It isn't just victims of violence, either. I'll confess that I had never heard the case of Tyra Hunter until I read that article at Shakesville: she was a transgender woman involved in a traffic accident in 1995. When EMTs arrived on the scene they started to treat her, then noticed her male genitalia. They stopped medical care and called her slurs. After they finally did get her to the hospital, she received substandard care and died. The EMTs and the hospital might not have caused her injuries, but due to their prejudice and apathy, they certainly caused her death.

Take a moment today to educate yourself about one of these victims. These are real people, dying every day.

spn 5.10 720p .avi..

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Supernatural 5.10 HDTV 720p (1280x720) XviD (codec) .avi (format) 474mb (filesize)
Download: megaupload, nakido (.zip file, 454mb)

(nakido link coming.. eventually done!)

And now for winter hiatus. D:

Friday - Vids/Art/Icons/Misc

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Vid
A House Inside of You
[info]wistful_fever | You Are A Runner by Wolf Parade
Castiel sleeps under Sam Winchester's bed. It's all terribly romantic. Castiel, Sam/Castiel.
The vidder does amazing things to construct a complex, believable relationship between Sam and Castiel.

Art
The Supernatural Theory
[info]trolleys | G | Digital Art
Sam, Dean & Sheldon Cooper. Response to [info]waterofthemoon's prompt, Sam and Dean trapped in The Big Bang Theory.
Such a brilliant crossover! Their clothing is perfect and Sheldon's face is priceless.

Cosplay
[info]xxxxxx_6x | PG | Digital Art
This is the Winchesters' cosplay show!
Hilarious, adorable and well done crossovers with several other fandoms. I love cartoon Dean's bowed legs!

JENSEN ACKLES WALLPAPER (DIFFERENT SIZES)
[info]crystalchain | G | Wallpaper
Jensen Ackles @ supernatural convention chicago '09
Gorgeous wallpaper with delightful pictures and sharp framing.

November 19th, 2009

Things what I have been doing

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Attended a benefit dinner last night with J, maiki, and Susan for a non-profit that we've done a lot of work for. Materials that both Susan and I had designed were all over the place and it was really nice to see it all out and looking snazzy. Susan's done a lot to get their informational materials/reports looking clean and professional. I did the benefit's programs, invites, and carried over from last year was a set of promotional posters which I'm still proud of. The project, per usual, made me gnash my teeth at times, but I do enjoy working for them, and it was flattering when people whom I didn't expect compliments from told me they were impressed by the invitations in particular. :D Leading up I had this worry about the pagination on the program booklet since I worked entirely remotely and never saw a proof (or even had time to run one myself!) but everything turned out beautifully and typo-free. By this point, I've done enough recent work to have a solid design portfolio again, so with so few classes left ahead of me it's nice to have that in addition to what's shaping up to go on my reel.

I didn't mingle much, as J and I were introduced to some great people early on and there was no incentive to bother straying away from the interesting conversation to rub elbows with people outside my industry. It was somewhat fascinating attending something like this after so long, and also after now having worked on catering from the serving end! The appetizers, by the way, were awesome. I wish we offered some of them on our own menu, especially the warm cranberries and almonds in phyllo cups. Yum.

My shoes were remarkably comfortable. I haven't worn actual heels in forever and it's nice to confirm that my knee can handle hours standing around in 3" heels.

[FIC] X-men RPS - Hugh/Liev/Taylor - Boys' Club

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This was supposed to be anon commentporn, but then it wasn't fulfilling what the OP had asked for so I wrote it for Blue instead.

Boys' Club
X-men RPS. Hugh Jackman/Liev Schrieber/Taylor Kitsch. NC-17. 3400 words.
God, tonight he'd be a slut for it if that's what they wanted.


Read Me. )

what are you trying to tell us, jensen?

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Jensen @ Chicago Con..

Answering a question about gifts he & Jared give/have given each other:

"If [...] I see a gadget or a gizmo or something that we want, we just get it."

BOYS! \o/

Fic: A Kept Boy 74/?

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Fandom: CWRPS
Pairing: Jeff/Jensen, Jared/Jensen
Rating: Adult
Warnings: Slavefic AU. Sexual, mental and physical abuse of adults and minors. Dark themes, adult concepts and language.
Disclaimer: This is in no way a true story.
Word Count: 2,234
AN: Master list of previous chapters found here. Cast of characters can be found here. Banner by the lovely and generous [info - personal] bloodquartz. Podfic version read by the amazing [info - personal] superstitiousme (found here, courtesy of the very kind [info - personal] general_jinjur). And don't forget the other really awesome stories to be found at [info] whatwekeep.


This is coming out all wrong again, isn't it? )

Thursday - Het & Other Slash

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HET

Four Times Becky Called Chuck, and One Time He Called Her
[info]longsufferingly | pre-Chuck/Becky | G | spoilers through 5x09
Hilarious and brilliant. This fic completely defies description, and hits everything spot-on and perfectly. Comedy perfectly executed. Read it now.


OTHER SLASH

Alas, FML
[info]laulan | Sam/Castiel | PG-13
Essentially, Castiel tries to woo Sam with outdated modes of courtship.
High grade crack!fic that is guaranteed to have you laughing out loud.

Oh god, what have I become?

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You know what I'd like to see on Glee? Bob Bryar.

Specifically, Bob Bryar (the Silent, Kinda-Scary New Kid At School Who Can't Sing or Dance At All) / Kurt Hummel.

GUYS. THEY ARE PASSING SHY, AWKWARD NOTES IN MY HEAD. "R U GAY, CHECK Y OR N."



Please to be noting that I still haven't really watched an episode of Glee. Much like my Adam Lambert-on-AI experience, I watch abbreviated clips of the show.

Wednesday - Sam/Dean rated G-R

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Roadhouse Blues
[info]zagzagael | PG-13
So reminiscent of season 2, feelings and atmosphere are dead on.

swim in my blood when it's warm
[info]musesfool | PG
Sam's seeing everything clearly now.
Beautiful use of words and the slow build fits perfectly into the story.

November 18th, 2009

Fic: In the Upright Position - Tony/Starscream (1/1)

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Dear god, I KNOW. Face meets palm.

In the Upright Position
Iron Man/Transformers. Tony/Starscream. PG (for metaphorical sexin). ~800 words. For round nine of IJ's porn_battle.
"I believe that was a challenge, sir."


Read me. )
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